Zombies Vs. Vampires

Choose your side wisely!

Zombie walk

Zombie. Picture author: SP by Grmisiti, on Flickr

Little vampire

Boy vampire. Picture author: Leszek.Leszczynski, on Flickr

So the apocalypse is hastily approaching. Get ready for complete chaos and anarchy. The streets will run crimson with the defeated’s blood. Your human demise is inevitable; so choose your side wisely.

There are two clans that are exponentially rising; each with their undeniable strengths and weaknesses. Whether your palate prefers the tender brawn of the human skull or the viscous delicacy of the civil collar, only the fittest will forge ahead.

If your one for conformity, and you take comfort in “the rule of numbers,” the zombie-regime might be right for you. There is an extensive network of kin, ready to hunt in your pack with fervor. Their goal will be simple: consume flesh to sustain bodily-life. Though you are not actually “alive,” the nourishment that you consume will provide sustenance for the preservation of your kind.

For the autonomous-at-heart, the vampire faction might be your best fit. As a vampire, you will have the flexibility to feast as you please. The innate desire to feed will not rule your mind, though you will endure great mental despair. Your insatiability will be an arc which finds no landing. Although your meals may be indulged any time; avoid the daylight, as this could prove unbearably painful and could even result in your demise.

When deciding on your side, consider each’s attributes.

The zombies have an unprecedented sense of smell. Once zombified, you will notice that your olfactory capacity will be grossly amplified. Food will be simple to scavenge; as your human, untuned nostrils will regress back to your primal and animalistic roots. Finding food will be simple, as Earth has quite the plethora of warm-blooded bodies. Your nose will become a speedy ship guided by the lighthouse of your smell. Vampires on the other hand rely on more human-like, tactile responses to stimuli. The nose of the vampire is much less acute, for they are in greater touch with movement and vibration. Regardless, each of these sectors, much like sharks, can sense the iron-rich waft of the wounded.

Vision is another paramount characteristic one should consider when choosing their division. Vampires are graced with almost cat-like optics, thus, night vision is a vampire’s forte. Their keen sight allows them to see things past an average human’s eye-range. On the other hand, the indiscriminate daylight is cause for alarm. The natural rays of the burning sun could prove to be fatal. As a vampire, you will have to hunt at night and rest during the day. Zombies have extreme myopia, but have the advantage of round-the-clock sight. Because of this, darkness will leave a zombie vulnerable.

Hearing is another principle characteristic. Vampires have exquisite ears, which might be a reason why they are so closely related to bats. They can sense the gushing beat of a human’s heart through pulses and vibrations. Even though this “sonar” is not directly related to the drums of the ears, their actual “hearing,” or sense of movement without the eyes, is impeccable. In contrast, zombies are considered “hearing impaired.”

“It isn’t the size of the bark, but the size of the bite.” When deciding between the zombies and the vampires, the offensive aspects of battle are vital. The speed of the attacker is an integral role of winning any brawl. Vampires have this advantage, as zombies are much more rigid and stiff-limbed. However, the powerful jaws of the zombie outweigh that of a vampire by a million. Zombie’s jaws are much mightier than vampires, who have a vice-like bite. In addition, the nervous system of the zombie is more resilient. Recovery time is faster, and an injury sustained during a fight can be more quickly repaired.

Lastly, the components of the brain differ immensely between zombies and vampires. The vampire’s brain is highly developed, much like a human’s. Though a vampire has the rationality of any well-educated person, they lack the empathy associated with normal functioning. The vampire leads a life of constant woe and rage; as they live eternally with the knowledge of their deplorable existence. Each meal only slightly quenches the hunger that aches within the vampire. If death is to occur (a steak to the heart or prolonged sunlight on the skin), the vampire knows his or her fate: the hottest, most callous realm of hell. On the contrary, zombies have no cognition of their destiny. Their actions are involuntary, thus, there is no disdain in their disposition. The zombie is unaware of their impact, and will continue thriving until demise.

So as the scratches creep down your door, and the static of the empty radio hums through your halls, find some peace in the inevitable. Rest assured that you know which side you stand for. Consider the trade-offs and choose either the side of the vampires or the zombies. The fate of humanity might just depend on it.

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